I often use the word “assertive” within workshops when talking about behaviours and sometimes the response received varies. Naturally few would consider the word “aggressive” to be a trait that should be part of any leader’s toolkit and yet on occasion others will suggest the term “passive”.

At this stage, we need to need to understand what assertive really means, one dictionary definition states…
Assertiveness is upholding one’s own integrity and dignity whilst at the same time encouraging and recognising this behaviour in others.
Assertiveness and integrity work as one, because we are honest with ourselves and others, this allows us to achieve what we want without compromise.
Honesty and integrity means that you can explain to others…

People confuse the use of the word “assertiveness” as bullying or trying to get your own way -nothing can be further from the truth.
In being assertive, we balance the needs of others with our own. We treat others as we would want to be treated. In turn, this gives us the confidence to make fact based decisions on the needs of both parties without fear or a feeling of uncomfortableness.

Passive people fear upsetting others, similarly that this could lead to rejection. In life there are two realities…How we think things are and how they actually are! Often, the passive person will harbour negative thoughts about the important and sometimes challenging conversations that will on occasion need to be had in many walks of life…Not just in business! This can lead to low self-esteem and poor self-talk! A vicious spiral!

Compare this to the assertive person…

And the real “win/win”? People enjoy being around assertive people. This reflects people with an inner self confidence and have knowledge of their chosen subject.

It’s important to unshackle yourself from “limiting beliefs” and through a shift in your thinking and the use of affirmations to change your self-talk. Becoming more assertive could change much of all that you do in life…And for the better!

― Andrena Sawyer